This morning when Mel was driving me back to his place after PH, he drove at 180km/h on the expressway. I was kinda sleepy and groggy already but the speed totally made me keep my eyes wide open. I WAS DAMN SCARED, I SWEAR. LOL!

It's 9.15pm now and I am going to sleep! GOODNIGHT.

Just got back home after an entire night out! Powerhouse with Jolin, Amenda, Sheila, Jasper, Samantha & Melvin. Met See Han when I was queueing up, I couldn't recognise him and even asked Sam if that was her friend. HAHAHA! OOPS! Dancefloor was super packed. Had one of those 'cubicles', me & sam & mel danced inside. HAHHAA. Damn fun! :)

Couldn't take it at 4am already. Wanted to leave. But the others still wanna stay. So, Mel drove me back to his place. Crashed over till noon, went for lunch, and he drove me back home. YAWNNNNNNNN TIRED.

IM LAZY TO BLOG.
I HATE SUPAFLY 3AM'S TRANCE. UGH.
&&&&&, THE MUSIC'S GETTING BAD.
:(

Bye. :D

After Rebel on 21st Nov, I told myself, clubbing makes me soooo tired. I'm not gonna be clubbing till my birthday. Yet, I went Rebel again on 26th Nov, Thursday. And today, 28th Nov, Saturday, I am going Powerhouse later. 4th Dec, Friday, I am going to Phuture.

OMG.

I damn suck. HAHAHA..

I was so tired last night that I totally KO-ed at evon baby's house when I had actually intended to go home. I was struggling to keep my eyes open and trying to keep my brain from shutting down with the last bit of energy I have left. It was terrible! Thank God when mahjong ended, I didn't even care if I lost $10. Lie on her sofa, shut my eyes, and i'm gone to the wonderful lala land. :) it's like paradise to me at that point. Haha! Evon woke me up awhile later to go into her room to sleep. I gladly obliged.

I'm so tired because I have been up and about since 8am Thursday morning! Woke up, bathe, mum rushed me off to school. Was late by a few minutes. :( ohwell, I left house at 845 when lesson's at 915. Was already prepared to be late anyway. Late is better than not going, isn't it. I really didn't want to go to school! But I can't let my habit of skipping school come back..

Had photoshoot during lunch time. It's a disaster for me! My face skin was just starting to peel off. When I applied my make up, et even mentioned that I put my make up till very thick. Well, that's ridiculous because since when have I ever put my make up till very thick?! It's because of the dried skin that makes it look cakey and all that. :( hope the photo turns out well...

After lessons ended, waited with Germaine for evon baby to finish her meeting. After her meeting ended, we all rushed back home to bathe and prepare for Rebel at night! Reached home at 8pm, Germaine called at 9pm telling me that she's already reached bedok interchange. I was still at home getting ready! Faster make up and everything, left my place at 910pm, waited for the blardy bus till 935pm. WTF seriously! The bus driver sleeping? Ugh was so pissed! Rush rush rush. End up at rebel, cos it's eve of public holiday, so we don't have free tertiary entry. Had to pay 15bucks entry.

Got 2 jugs + 2 of drinks cos it's one for one promo before 11pm. Whiskey+coke and vodka redbull. Vodka redbull is nice! Bit I still hate vodka. Rarrrs! The feel it gives you is so not good! Accompanied gerlyn to macs to get apple pie becos she needs to have smth to eat. Her apple pie eat till half, drop on my feet. Hahaha! The sauce damn hot I swear! Ouch!! Went toilet to clean up, then headed back to rebel. Dancefloor's alr starting to get crowded. 1130pm started dancing, all the way till 415am. Non stop. Freaking awesome! But my legs are aching damn bad now.

Anyway, some bad stuffs happened to me which made me feel super fucked up but makes me laugh thinking about it now.. I'm gonna use vulgar cos those assholes are really mofos!!! Chibye fucking despo to the max! Firstly, there were so many tiko old uncles there! On the damn dancefloor! I need bodyguards against those paedophiles. Knn! Preying on young girls? Hope your dicks rot and fall off! Well, that made me uber freaked out so I danced with Germaine in the middle of a group of guys and kept moving away from that lecher that kept trying to eye me and get near me. Blardy hell... I cannot enjoy myself when I have to be so conscious of my surroundings. I had to ensure the guy was blocking the uncle away cos he wad fucking trying to move past the guys. Cbcbcb. Next, was this random drunk guy. He licked my ear la. LMAO I was damn grossed out! I jitao just push him away. Omg laaa. I was dancing with gerlyn at first, he came towards us, then his finger tried to hook my finger. I thought accident at first so I don't care. But it happened two three times again, even though I push his hands away. Then he didn't try to hook my finger alr but just held it and dance with me. Aiya fuck la. I push him away and he kept hold me back. Too little guy friends cos idiot Terrence got drunk so damn early and went home! LOL. Poor me, I'm on my own. I'm sober enough to know what I'm doing. So I just guarded myself and make sure that drunkard don't anyhow try to touch. He tried, I kept pushing his hands away. He obviously had no control over what he's doing alr. Started trying to grind me also and I really push him away damn hard. LOL. Kinda pathetic attempt man. Then my limit was when he went to lick my ear. Knn I push him and jitao stone there stare at him and stop dancing totally. Think he somehow woke up and told mr he go toilet first. Hahaha his facial expression was so awkward! Oi cb you eat my tofu then look so awkward. I nv slap you lor! Fucker sia. He came back after toilet, alot more sober. His face damn guilty. Hahahaha! Don't care, I just wanna have fun with my dearies. Hehehe.

Overall it was still a great night with evon, gerlyn, Julin, Germaine, Debbie, Joey, lianli, Raphael and that idiot Terrence that got drunk. Haha! :D

last song ended, I desperately need a drink. So I went to the bar counter, but it was closed alr. :( this guy thr helped us get a glass of coke. ;) he wanted to pour me Martell! Or was it chivas? Anyway he wanted to pour me hard liquor la. But I rejected cos I'm gonna die alr. Lols. Nice guy really. I one hand holding my ic and debit card mah. He reached over and took my ic and say, this one lend me awhile. I stun, no time for reaction. Lol! Then he say... Wa, too young la. LOL. Damn funnyyyyy! Then he got the bartender to get me and Germaine another glass of coke cos we were sooo tired. Thanked him and headed out to meet the rest. :)

all went off, left me and Germaine. I didn't want to take midnight cab home cos it's damn exp. And my pasir ris people all pangseh! :x ohwell, walked along the roadside while I made calls. Eventually decided to go find Ben. While we were about to take the cab, this angmoh from australia asked if st James was nearby. I told him, st James this time closing alr. It was 430 when he asked! Rarrrs. He started chatting with us a little, etcetc. Nice guy! Hahaha!!

Slacked at ben's house till 8am and Melvin came to pick me up. Driving different car siols. Lol! He came from his camp at pasir ris, all the way to commonwealth. Then go back white sands for breakfast at bk. LOL. Drive down just to pick me up for breakfast la! Germaine tagged along too. Was so shag, but I still felt like going out! Came back to my place to bathe and change. Took clothes for Germaine to wear. Amazingly I could find things for her la. Haha. Went melvin's place at woodlands after that for him to bathe and change. His sound system in his room damn cool la! Can blast music then club inside alr. Lol! And so many Winnie the pooh and friends collection! I likeeee! Haha!

Germaine fell asleep, then I stayed in living room chitchat with him awhile. Headed down to city hall area. Ate sakae at marina square. Yay my love! Hehe. Would have been perfect if it's sushi tei! He paid for dinner. Oh, he paid for breakfast too! I feel so bad la. Wanna pass him money he also dowan to take.. Somemore I got kinda pissed after that cos they kept on asking me where to go! Ugh.. Went to esplanade first. Wrote wishes on the floating balloons! I wished for love and happiness to fill everyone's life. Hehe. :) after that was when I got pissed and just walked ahead myself and they followed behind. Walked to nyny there then Mel asked if I still wanted to eat my ceaser salad. Mood change again, happy! Haha. Ceaser salad at nyny, also he pay even though he never eat. Zzz. Had free cotton candy! Yum! :)

sent germaine home and picked Evon and Terrence up at white sands. Evon wad also surprised that he changed car. Lol! His other car at outram though. Hmm. Went to evon's place, watched the show my gf is a secret agent or smth lidat. Damn funny!! :p then played mahjong. :)

*you really make me feel very disappointed.....

A message within a message.

I am tired of constantly trying over and over again
But it takes a lot of courage to give up something you love so dearly
Love, it's not supposed to hurt
Rather, it should be filled with sweetness and happiness, isn't it?
Only you can put that smile on my face again
You, the man who holds my heart...
Vague are the memories we once shared together
And the distance between us grows further and further apart
Emptiness overwhelms my lonely heart
Now everything seems so hard to reach
You probably already have someone else in your heart now...
Longing for your love, longing for your presence.
One more chance, that's all I'm asking for
I just want to prove my love for you.
Until the day I leave this place behind,
My heart belongs to only you.....

** Coded.

Should I just give up?
I probably should already.

ifmyb

You're probably making me go through it all over again. Your ignoring and rejections, it's killing me. You said you still care for me, why can't I feel it at all?

I really don't know what I've done to deserve this. Why can't you just be a little better towards me?

I fucking miss you and it fucking hurts.